A
VirgilON Jury Poem for Susan Filshie
(Or How I Learned to Love The Mennon Brothers)
With
apologies to Red Fisher, who's style inspired this thing.
A
while back I had a very strange dream
And in it I was about to meet my final judgment
As I recall there were five jurors but none heaven-sent
A drunk, a gambler, a lawyer, a banker and a land use planner
Somehow they all seemed familiar, almost as if wed met before
I was never very good with names but I could always recall a face
And then suddenly it came to me, their faces and their names
Yes, we had all met before, and I recalled their VirgilON games
I
remember the drunk from a time when I was still living fast
He was a quitter, couldnt seem to make the good times last
Hed lost everything to the Mennon brothers because of that demon
drink
He was a cowardly weak man always living on life's brink
All he ever seemed to do was find fault and to constantly bitch
Nobody really cared when they found him shot dead in Deitch's ditch
And
the gambler, I met him in the Falls in some long ago time
He always had money, usually from some kind of crime
He was one of those that had no character or heart
Whatever someone else put together he would just tear apart
Hed take his money and throw it away on cards or a Clifton wheel
This was a strictly nothing man always acting a big deal
The gambler left three children and a once loving Virgil mom
The only ones that cried the night Billy Mennon shot him down
And
I too, remembered the Stone Road banker, for he was quite a clown
Gaining notoriety for having the nerve to turn VirgilON car loans down
His high interest and hard attitude caused many a small farm to go broke
He'd sell folks places, rake in their equity and act like it was a joke
They found him in his Dump Road farmhouse, his face a horrible red
Charlie Mennon raised many a glass when the coroner pronounced him dead
Next
there came the lawyer and the planner, I dont know which one's
worse
To me, these two together are worth only this single verse
They were both quite flakey and obviously carried Toronto career roots
When development boomed you could always just figure it was those two
in cahoots
I heard they were found together in a bar in old VirgilON town
Thats where they died together when the Mennon boys gunned them
down
So,
you see folks, this is the jury that dared to pass judgment on me
A devil's jury of five VirgilON men, Im sure none were a mother's
joy
Why He decreed that they sit in judgment of me Ill never know
But I heard that Hes got a strange sense of humour, and its
probably so
Its also true that theres a lesson in this tale Ive
hereby told to you
Be careful how you treat your fellow VirgilONians, be honest and be
true
If you live your life in this way you will have no cause to worry
About meeting someone you used to know serving on a jury
Back To The Shed Variance Episode