[Filshie] No guarantees though. Belinda Stronach, single Conservative, is about to become a single Liberal - or maybe she's already done it. The price? She'll be a minister in the Paul Martin gov't. Is this tart-ism?

[Miller] Ha. Tartism tartism. Another chapter beginneth in da blog. In da blog. Indablog

[Filshie] The Tart Shop being a back room of the Pie Plate, which is really only a (Mennonite) front , I assume? or would that be the slightly illegal porch? an im-"peached" tart?is that a niagara region specialty?

[Miller] I woke up this morning and they didn't shoot me in the stall, so I went back on Dr. Pat's ludes and the sun shines much brighter. So much brighter I decided to code the blog up to date on the web - aha.

The "Meech/Brazil Gig" episode of the blog www.hips.com/quest is now on line and I must say it outshines the rest even though the entire VirgilON BigO segment seems to have vanished. Anyone still possessing BigO copy and wanting it posted, please to forward with a suitable request and I shall see that it is made so.

Took in the Hitchhikers' Guide [don't panic] and ever since Perry Como's "Magic Moments" has been rattling around in my head so voila here it is to share. "The time that the floor fell out of my car when I put the clutch down" - marvelous stuff eh?

Magic moments, when two hearts are carin'
Magic moments, mem'ries we've been sharing
I'll never forget the moment we kissed the night of the hay ride
The way that we hugged to try to keep warm while takin' a sleigh ride
CHORUS
Magic moments, mem'ries we've been sharin'
Magic moments, when two hearts are carin'
Time can't erase the memory of
These magic moments filled with love
The telephone call that tied up the line for hours and hours
The Saturday dance I got up the nerve to send you some flowers
CHORUS
The way that we cheered whenever our team was scoring a touchdown
The time that the floor fell out of my car when I put the clutch down
The penny arcade, the games that we played, the fun and the prizes
The Halloween hop when everyone came in funny disguises
Magic moments filled with love

[Miller] Off to the Near North for meetings in the >Almaguin Highlands - the last GTA frontier of greed and >degradation. While I'm gone don't forget your towels - the most powerful >protection in the universe. So long for now and thanks for all the fish. Oh, and let me know about VirgilON T ideas, although Don't Panic is also good protection under W rule.

[Alan] Let me know if this is the Grieving Meesh image you've all been missing...

[Miller] There *must* be a hole in the universe above>the southern Tim Donuts in Gravenhurst. I told the following story to Leah>about an>hour ago and she thought I must be making it up but I assure you all that>*this* actually happened today at about 1:30pm and I was there. This is>absolutely true. So many weird things have happened at>this place in the last few months that I was getting a tad nervous as I>swung into the parking lot and backed into a space with a good view. I>check it out carefully and everything seems in perfect order. A bit busier>than I expected but it is near the end of May and its nice and warm and sunny. A young woman pulls up>just past the side door, the door I always go in, and stops. I figure she>must be dropping somebody off for work or something. I get to the door>cubicle and notice the driver is a teenage girl and she's talking to the>vertical flap in the square lid of a Tim Hortons trash>bin. I walk into the doorway cubicle and open the opposite door and sure>enough she's making an order. I say "hey the drive thru microphone is>around the corner ahead of you, behind the building". The answer comes>back "rilly oh wow like I thought . . . rilly" as she gunned the car around>the corner. How could anybody be that far out of it? I go into the place and immediately see my waitress lady with the lisp and>former tongue studs>. She is yelling at a distraught teenager, also in TDL uniform - "DO IT>NOW THLAVE!!". There are seven women working the counter (normally only 2)>and some are obviously in training. I hit the washroom and there is a guy>in the stall who calls out "is that you Bill?". "No" I reply. "Oh no" I>hear the guy say. "What's the>trouble?" I ask. "I really need toilet paper in here and my brother was>supposed to go and get some - I really need it bad." "No problem, I'll get>it for you" I say. Turns out the guy's brother laid the>problem on the women at the front counter and took off. The "THLAVE">argument was about the refusal of one of the trainee teenage girls to go>into the gents and deliver the goods. I offer to do the deed, to the>obvious relief of all,>and take a ginormous commercial hub of wad back to the can. "How do you>want it, over the top or under?" I ask. The guy takes it over the top and>says "thanks, my brother is a bastard".

[Alan] ...I for one am absolutely speechless, after busting a gut on this story, and I believe it is absolutely true....

[Steve] The truth is often stranger than fiction - who besides me said that

[McIlroy] You're a genius Robert. That was very funny!

[Miller] At the time, as events were unfolding, it was a tad unsettling. I ordered my coffee and was told things were a little unsettled behind the counter because they had had five busses of children in the past hour. "And therth one sthtill lurking over there" the lisping waitress said, pointing an accusing finger behind me. I turned to see a young mother with a new baby sitting in a window corner. The mom was cooing and rubbing the baby's foot making it giggle. I looked back at the waitress who by then had a twisted expression on her face. I tell you, there is a hole in the universe over that Tim Hortons.

[Alan] ....and evidently no one comes in to coo and rub the waitress's feet, making her giggle...you might make an offer along that line, next visit..

[Miller] Ya right. Here we have a potential hole in the universe and you expect me to walk up to the counter with an offer like that. Minds me of the time I decided to light dad's hybachi with a dose of rubbing alcohol. Talk about getting enveloped in your work. Despite the bog paper rescue, I want to remain as detached as possible up there. I'm hoping to hear from anyone else with odd experiences in the south Gravenhurts TDL. There's a towel sale at Sears and I'm on my way. A white towel is the best protection available in the universe.

[Filshie] This is so great. Really Rob - you should be writing for Corner Gas or something. You are a natural.

[Miller]10-4 Susan receiving you loud and clear. What quadrant>of the galaxy are you in now? I have no clue what "Corner Gas" is and I>must therefore assume its another big hit on cable TV which, as you know,>we do not subscribe to anymore. That's the source of our powers you know,>although I must admit enjoying the old grey haired morning guy on Detroit>Country Cable while holed up in Huntsville last week. Leah and I used to>watch the morning Detroit traffic reports while holed up in blizzards in Arthur. Most of rural>Ontario is on Detroit Country Cable - that's why they talk so funny north>of Hwy 7. To most of them the UP is sure not United Press. What route do>you intend taking to Milton this week? Whatever you do, if you go through>Gravenhurts make sure to have your towel handy.

[Filshie] Hi Rob - I do forget that you don't have much in the way of television. Never mind about>Corner Gas. It is sufficient to say that you could write a similar hit>based on the Gravenhurst Tim Horton's. Maybe I could write one on my>travels to Milton. Isn't the spring lovely? Our funrace>was condemmed last night. We came home to a house filled with gas fumes, so>called Enbridge toute suite and you know the result. There goes more>as-yet-unearned-cash. all for now.

[Miller] Good thing nobody in your house smokes. Just>turn off the furnace gas valve for now. You won't need furnace heat for>six months. How do they condemn a furnace anyway? Do you get a red notice>on your front door or something?

[Filshie] Yes - a huge red notice on the front door. AND they publish your name in all manner of public lists AND in all of the>national newspapers. Hadn't you ever noticed?<BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>>By the>way, I can't stand the "Epiphany - a\ka steven rivers birthday" title >anymore and shall henceforth refuse to > read them.

[Miller] So long and

[Barb] Susan, I understand that the subject line cannot change…..it will end the blog if it changes. Did you not start it in the first place?

[Filshie] Please either delete me from your Epiphany list or else change the Epipahny name. I cannot bear to see that title in my in-box anymore. I don't know why this is, but it is. Its not the content. I like the content and keep up as best I can. I love the people (well, those I know). It is that odious title...As I can't open up sympatico in order to download personal e-mail from work, (policy) use my milton address please for time sensitive info (like plans for beer and pizza) or a little instant "hello". OK? Thanks.

[Miller] Oooooooo an Epiphany blog post sent to everybody on their work email servers except Rivers. And a call to post personal mail to the Milton server. This *is* a different part of the galaxy indeed. Say hello to the Milton IT guys. Check this out boys www.hips.com/quest. There is a motion on the floor to delete the member or change the blog post subject line and as owner of the blog website I hereby exercise my power and veto that motion to replace it with the following: That "Epiphany" shall remain in the blog subject line until someone comes up with a rice poodin recipe to satisfy the original Epiphany post, at which time the winner shall exercise his/her right to replace the Epiphany word in the subject line with a word of his/her choice." The floor is open to all except Wheler and McIlroy who havn't added one blessed word to the blog. Well, McIlroy called me a "genious" last week but that can't possibly be posted to the site, not right now anyway. Btw the blog has morphed into an e-book sort of creature that I estimate would now take over 200 pages to print out. Some epiphany.

[Filshie] some challenge. OK I'll make the rice pudding. You can all come to the pudding or the pudding can go to you. If the latter, please name a time and place. If the former (ie. Milton or Toronto) please suggest a date and I'll name the place. Alternatively we could meet at the RBG (while it is still open for business) and we shall have a rice pudding picnic.

[Miller] Oooooo we have a winner. LaSalle Park would be better for a puddin picnic. *Free* historic pavillion [with washrooms] among canopy oaks overlooking the Burlington Boat Club and actually much closer to Milton. What is your choice of replacement word for "epiphany"?

[Filshie] wait wait ....don't you all have to approve of the pudding first? And what day shall we have this little event? any day this week is fine with me. I like the sound of the location. Burlington i assume since you say it overlooks the burlington boat club, but of course that could be anywhere becasue what's in a name afterall? I'll try the google map thing to guide me there shall I?

[Leah] Wow. This has come full circle. I'll throw in a rice pudding and we can have that contest we all talked about long ago and far away.

[Miller] This week is a no go for us but whoah here comes *another* puddin!! LaSalle Park is at the bottom of Waterdown Road and was in Hamilton before the Steele Commission of 1969 from whence Hamilton has owned and maintained it within the Burlington city limits. Gotta love mun restructuring. This entire part of the Bayshore has been redone to include marvellous walking trails and board walks. The largest Sassafrass forest in Ontario is located there to. Ron Joyce, of former Tim Donut fame, lives adjacent to LaSalle and if we saw him, we could maybe have a chat and explore the hole in the universe above Gravenhurts.

[Filshie] Great!

[Alan] It will be a Rice Pudding Jamboree!! The others on the blog should be alerted immediately!!

[Filshie] OK - Alan, you take the leadership role ( it suits you so well)(senior person at Region and world traveller etc. etc. etc.) and see that everyone is notified. Make an executive decision or two as to time and date. We have the place. am off to a meeting now.

[Miller] Lead on McDuff!!! Just watch the lurkers come out the blog now :<) for free puddin.

[Steve] Could this be an annual event - I do not recommend it be held on S. Rivers' Birthday though.

[Miller] When did the blog get started anyway? Which reminds me - the replacement word for "epiphany" is yet to be specified by Susan the winner who satisfied the puddin recipe requirement of the motion on the floor. Trusting the new subject line for the blog will not be Various aka S. Rivers' birthday.

[Alan] THOMPSON CANNON TRIBUTE TO BE PRIVATE

ASPEN, COLO.---The memorial for Hunter S. Thompson will take place this summer, as planned, but the explosive tribute will be a private, invitation-only affair. Organizers met Thursday to discuss details of the upcoming service, to be held Aug. 20, 2005 six months after Thompson shot himself at his home. In early April, Thompson's widow Anita announced plans for a tribute to fulfill her late husband's wish of having his ashes shot out of a cannon and scattered over their Woody Creek property. Thompson's ashes will be placed inside the cannon portion of a 45-metre-high tower designed to resemble his "gonzo fist" symbol. Organizers confirmed this week that the structure will be paid for by actor Johnny Depp, who portrayed Thompson in the 1998 film adaptation of his book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas . The August tribute will encompass "spoken word and live entertainment," with the cannon-firing close to sunset, Jon Equis, the event producer working with the Thompson family, told the Associated Press. He added that the tower will be covered before the service to discourage tourists. The family says a public tribute ommemorating Thompson will take place later this year.

[Miller] I can facilitate our own black powder event on August 20/21st. There are several doable explosive venues and I have all required munitions in storage here in port. The pound can of dry black powder is the most exciting to think about. Location is another issue. Over the river near the end of Larkin Road would be quite fitting. The 57 Orion Bus is in that area too - we could do some field recon for the Dearborn MI initiative.

[Filshie] Ok - it can stay as the blog name. It was originally the subject line for an invitation to do something to celebrate Steve's birthday.

[Spoomer in a NY bar] Check the first few lines of where the plot is hatched in vivid detail. We are on a quest to find the perfect >puddin' recipe and the entire winter has been spent in one big deviation. >One might say the blog is sort of deviant behaviour for olderly farts but >to me its become a taste of reality in a shopping mall world. Yesterday I >tried to get a favour from a real backwoods Mennonite and was shut >down. My normally irresistable powers of persuasion were shut down like >Gump on a slapshot. Anyway, I was in a Mennonite mill that I discover named a >nearby village when the Mennon miller climbed on the roof of the mill and >screamed "this place is no longer known as Sodom. From this point forward >it shall be called New Hope" and with that he took a pail of white wash and >painted the name on the elevator tower on the roof of the mill. Amazing >idea came to mind about the name VirgilON but I figured I'd get shut down >on that too. Today I plan to have a blogoland epiphany of sorts of take in the Auburn Bass Pro in a mega mall. VirgilON blogoland!!! They say some rednecks faint dead away just getting into Bass Pro. Many shop for wedding presents there, or so I am told. Met a RochesterTV producer on the pier last night and they were right up to speed on the blog. They just love to listen to me talk like I do in VirgilON - sort of >makes their chins wrinkle up. Btw we appear to be doing well in the Chicago T >contest.

[Steve] Looks like some people I know in Madoc.

[Spoomer in NY] Pagans at a puddin jamboree. Don't ya love the idea of a Puddin Jamboree. Speaking of Jamborees I met some old girls tonight in the Sherwood Inn tavern who introduced us to a fine libation called an Appletini. Sort of a gin martini but bright green and tastes like Granny Smith apples and is *very* habit forming. After a few of those and some fine Manhattan chowder and entres and trip by the raw bar you can actually see orange Internationals rolling down twenty highway in front of the Inn. None of the tractors on the area farms are orange and I have the sense that such a colour would be frowned upon by the locals. The colours here are green and red only. As we sampled the Appletinis the most aggressive of the old girl squad said "don't panic". In true hitchhiker syle I replied in full chorus "so long and thanks for all the fish" which caused whoops and gails of laughter. At which point Leah and I chuntered out the front front doors of the old Sherwood and up our favourite street of the most amazing display of architectural styles this side of Essex County Mass.

[Filshie] Re: location: - where is this 4 mile sand spit place? Would I like it? Re: time: - I think that a Friday after-work event would be good. Could we agree on a Friday paradigm?

[Spoomer in a NY inn] The Four Mile Creek oozes from the famous springs of St. Davids and>tumbles like the gentle rains of heaven across the Plains of Mordo and into>the Realm of Menon at VirgilON from whence it wiggles down and around>Palatine Hill to where it flattens out under the bridge on Lakeshore Road at>Strewn Winery to do an amazing thing - it becomes a tiny inland child of>Lake Ontario called an estuary [see photo]. A very tiny replica of Toronto>harbour, if you will. There is a wonderful beach and spit [akin to Toronto>Island] along the lake in that area with a trail leading easterly to a>parking lot where people park cars in advance of doing picnics on the grassy>banks or even down on the beach with fires of different descriptions usually>dependent upon the mental or physical ages of the picnicers. The area was>originally owned by the infamous Reverend Addisson, chaplain of Fort George>at the time of Col. Butler and later the War of 1812. The estuary is a>naturalists delight and the site of many interesting historic comings and>goings. At its western beach mouth is Four Mile Point, a familiar landing>for Mrs. Simcoe and others who then followed the trail up to the Servos Mill>a short distance inland. Ships of the British line used the point to offload>provisions to drop weight when engaged in battles with our American friends>on the lake. And the estuary received the little fleet of boats brought from>Burlington Heights in 1813 which was then dragged overland to the Niagara>River at East & West Line from where they were launched to float over to>retake Fort Niagara from the nasty chaps who burned the Old Town. Btw, the>boys that carried off that amazing feat did so with unloaded Brown Bess' [to>avoid a chance firing] and fixed bayonets which they poked into 20 US>soldiers in a pub in Youngstown and several dozen more once they got inside>the Fort. Anyway, the park east of the Four Mile estuary is a candidate for>yon puddin jamboree. It is, however, considerably further away from the>shires of Halton than the park at LaSalle's landing, known fondly in>Aldershot circles as LaSalle Park. Enough for one night on the marge of>Lake Laskaneateles. Just remember, don't panic and VirgilON!! So long, and>thanks for all the fish.PS Four Mile Estuary image enclosed. I took this in the spring of 2003 trying to find my way to Port Weller.

[Alan] Alright. I opened this and had to wonder, what in the name of holy f...is this all about, then I realized my name had been dropped from the chain, so no wonder I was "out of the loop", apparently for days on end. And no-one noticed or cared. Judas. Meanwhile, of course, there was another chain going around that alluded to a giant Pudding Jamboree to be held at Lasalle Park in Burlington on a date to be determined. Lasalle Park is apparently some Central Point, from the blog perspective, and is conveniently located so even Susan Wheler can attend. So we're inching back to our roots, slowly as pudding will in a bowl as it "congeles". As I understand it, all we need is a date and time. The options seem to be on a weekday after work, or on a weekend. Steven will argue for a weekday during work. As the solstice approaches our options increase; after that they may decrease if the solar year proceeds as planned. Now that I think of it, a Solstice Romp in some pudding might not be a bad idea. There was also an allusion, I've forgotten by whom, that I might organize such an event. As if that's going to happen!! So who wants to go first? Date and time please.

[Filshie] looks like a great place.

[Steve] AHA - now we're getting somewhere! Jan and I used to hold a "Pagan Ritual Boogey Til Ya Puke" party every June 21 in Edmonton. Sadly the ritual has slipped with the declining number of hours of sunshine each 21st as we move further south. Reviving traditions is, as Martha would say, a good thing.

[Spoomer in NY] Not actually sure where somewhere is right now. Been imbibing in some wonderful Erie Canal imbiberies plus there's a huge wine store in the bottom floor of this inn and a Saranac beer outlet donw the street. Quite civilized. Plus I am grownig used to the sea salt exfoliant body wash and foamy green kelp shampoo stuff. I don't think A got dropped from the blog bbut I do know there are two strings at play and I am racing to catch up with an ether net connection that doesn't seem have a send mail serve3r. So here I am blowing smoke up sympatico to get out on the net. Trying to stay in the blog loop. That boogey till you puke sounds like something that could kill us all Steve. We should strive to be more like the Oscar Meyer Wiener kid with only quality filling. Just playing now on the tv here. Marvelous philosophy. Swung by the Bass Pro Outlet but couldn't convince Leah to buy the "Kiss My Bass" panties. Wonderful graphics, but no. Vive LaSalle Park for puddin. The location was planned to ccomodate the Milton Kid and the Niagara types but there could be other options. The sand spit at Four Mile estuary would be good and we could make big fires. Hey I'm going to another bar right now. I think. Heard a teenager ask her father on the street out here "we're in New York right? Rilly!!" Bumped into a really cool redneck old old guy in Bass Pro. Peaked hat pushed back, dirty white T with suspenders holding up old old jeans with a big belly hanging way out. "Looking for some fishing gear" I ask him as Leah sculks away. "Nope I don't fish" comes the toothless reply with a big grin as he comes up close and wispers in my ear "I'm here to buy a hammock - I'm so tired, I just gotta lay this thing down." Me too, I think to myself, me too.

[Alan] At last, a golf tournament I can get behind! Also looks like a great place. Shotgun golf would go over big time. Foursome ("autonomous golfing bloc"), anyone....? Fore!!

[Miller] Anarchist's Golf at Four Mile Crick should indeed be a shotgun golf event. The high bank over Lake Ontario would lend itself to August 21st memorial explosions too. In digging in the shed for the pedal car, I succeeded in finding my one pound can of black powder. The cap n ball muzzle loader is also ready to go. Hasn't been fired since the newspaper wad demo in the Massey Library basement coffee shop. Another time. Leah and I are off to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Lower Grand River Land Trust and conclusion of Parks Canada cost share program restoring the Ruthven Park mansion. Leah will arrive in a horse-drawn carriage wearing a big hat (rilly). My thoughts swung to a prime time to shout "don't Panic VirgilON", but no not this time apparently.

[Miller] Well, I see I should not put a drop shaddow and gradients in the T design. Nevertheless, undaunted, VirgilON and I resubmitted the attached T design with no gradients and a bonus. Mother Teresa can never say it was a photo of her hot machine. VirgilON and don't panic.

Hello Rob,
Regarding: 'VirgilON'
Unfortunately your submission was declined.
The reason your design was declined is: The design cannot have a gradient.
Thank you for submitting to Threadless,
The Jakes
Threadless.com
Earth's Best Tshirts
http://www.threadless.com/
5225 N Ravenswood Ave #101
Chicago, IL 60640
United States of America

[Alan] ...sand sculpture, Ipanema, May 2005. Don't panic indeed....

[Miller] This is the only sculpture I've ever come across on Four Mile Crick estuary beach. Not to be outdone, the kids from more wealthy families built a large and truly amazing beer raft. The raft materials were brand new, including the floatation barrels. In the end, alcohol determined a common level among them all. Bugey till you puke on a fancy raft or in a Robinson Crusoe hovel - its all the same in VirgilON.

[Alan] ...who put the 42 with smiley face on it? The sculptors, or foto shop?...or someone else?...don't panic?

[Miller] I too asked that question last year and conducted a survey of the drunken teens and many drunken adults also roaming the area. No luck so I chalked it up to one of life's mysteries until this evening. Hark I hear John Clease - "you baastad, you rotten baastad." The annoying recurrence is akin to those tunes that rattle around the back of one's mind such as "you say tomatoe" and "maaaagic, bump bumpety bump, moooments". Don't panic, indeed, unless you wake up in the middle of night humming "maaaagic, bump bumpety bump, moooments". If you want to get the whistling part straight, turn on your speakers.

[Alan] ...that's strange. My waking nightmare last night was "Santa Catalina, the island of romance, romance, romance, romance..." It must be the summer air....

[Miller] Ya that must be rough when ya gotta leave your woman in South America. Don't panic - we still have Starbucks. And look what crossed my desktop just moments ago - a Highbastard downloadable Starbucks facilitating coffee order wheel. Oh man, this looks like exactly what I have been looking for. I always feel so inadequate at a Starbucks counter. Now its easy to roll off gimme an "iced, tall, double, no-whip, skim, latte."